It's not. Really, I'd like to think it's all about me all the time. But I have to understand that it has never been, and will never be, about me.
Right about now you might be thinking, "Dude, where's this coming from?" I'm glad you asked. I have three wonderful children. Abby is almost 5, Drew is 2 and Will is 9 months. I love them all dearly and would give my life for any one of them. But... man oh man can they be a handful. And it's not some joyous, smiling, "this is a wonderful memory we're making" kind of handful. They can be a trying, difficult handful. But that's not really the point either.
See, I've been praying and asking God to help me be a better father. I am struggling mightily with our daughter. She is strong willed and I am, well, not. I don't understand the disposition of going against authority just to see how far one can push the boundaries. I was a textbook compliant child. I lived to make everyone around me happy, and to keep the peace at all costs. I'm the perfect subordinate. Just tell me to jump and I'll gladly ask how high I should go. Abby isn't that way, and her little brothers are watching her and learning from her, and they're starting to test their willful little wings too.
So how does all this come to a support group? Simple. It's not about me. Really, the name of the group should be, "______ isn't about me." And you fill in the blank. For me right now God is showing me that parenting isn't at all about me. He's shown me that I come home from work, and instantly start looking for "me time." I want to relax. I want to surf espn.com. I want to listen to music. I want to throw a football. I want to watch the news. I, I, I... Me, me, me. I view my kids as a hindrance to what I really want to do. They are keeping me from fulfillment. They are a road block to my joy... And I see my sons aren't the only ones filling diapers with, well, you know.
The Bible says children are a blessing directly from the hand of God. He has seen fit to bless my wife and I with Abby, Drew and Will. They are not a hindrance, they are an inheritance from Him. They aren't a road block, they are the road to understanding love and sacrifice. So parenting isn't about me. Leading my family isn't really about me. I must lead like Christ did... by serving. Parenting is about how I can serve my kids today. How I serve them in this very moment, whatever moment that is.
Hi, I'm Josh. And PARENTING isn't all about me. How will you fill in the blank?
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Josh,
ReplyDeleteI need to be in this support group. So Kendra and I were just having this same conversation after dinner tonight. I seem to be pretty hard on Elijah and very quick to discipline him. He wants to see how far he can go and I can't stand it. Noncompliance is not and option and unfortunately sometimes I don't differentiate between work and home. I don't want that for my family. You hit the nail on the head.
Thank you, Josh
God Bless Your Brother in Christ, Geoff